My love is like a target on your back
by LisaAbiona15
Summary: Regina knows it is foolish and worse- dangerous. Cora would never allow her to love a servant, and every stolen moment brings Maleficent into danger. And it all feels so right... until it all goes wrong.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own OUAT. Once again, I wrote something and only posted it on Tumblr. I thought it would be fun to also post this here. Could be a one-shot, could be multiple chapters ( but I have lots of stuff to do right now, so I am not promising regular updates)**

Her hair was like the hay Rocante ate, but then more golden, more rare and beautiful. And her eyes always seemed slightly mischievous in a way that made her blush faintly as well as making her feel like she was in the sky and dropping down.

Oh she knew it wasn't lady-like, that it was stupid in the most dangerous way – _you don't need love dear, don't be foolish – for so many reasons not least – You have no idea what I have endured to give you this life! And you will NOT ruin this, you spoiled little girl_ – that she wasn't supposed to be so drawn to a girl that didn't have the money and power her mother wanted her to have. But-

Mal made her feel unguarded, safe, comfortable – all things she could never feel around her mother or the power-hungry members of the court. She felt like she could strip herself bare (figuratively) and Mal would accept and perhaps even _like_ all her parts. How could she ever say no to something like that?

Right now, she and Mal were in the stables. She was brushing Rocante while Mal kept being a distraction by standing very close to her and kissing her on her cheek/ her shoulder/ her hands even. Mal took Regina's hand and kissed her knuckles, then intertwined their hands.

" Mal. I need to brush Rocante" she said in a fake exasperated tone, secretly loving that Mal did things like holding her hand.

" We will do it together" Mal decided, bringing Regina's hand back to Rocante's fur and starting to brush.

" You look wonderful riding him" she whispered in Regina's ear and Regina felt her face heat up. She bit her lip and turned her head to give Mal a look under lowered lashes. " You ought not to say such things".

" Why ever not? It is true". " It is not proper" Regina nearly mumbled, _don't mumble dear always enunciate_ but caught herself.

Mal chuckled. " Wonderful. That is _exactly_ what I like".

"Mal.." Regina sighed, going for exasperated-why – am- putting-up-with- this that turned in an oh-that-feels-goood- kind of moan when Mal kissed and bit and sucked her neck . She gasped, pulled her hand free from Mal's, bend to get the horse brush that had now fallen on the ground.

Two seconds later, Mal had pushed her gently, fallen on her own knees and was hovering over Regina with a big smirk. " Hi".

" Get off me".

" Technically, I am not _on_ you. I am more over you really".

Regina imitated the haughty, condescending look all the nobility around her were so good at. " It does not matter whether you are on or over me , because – Maleficent.. " the sternness in her voice evaporated when Maleficent kissed her cheek. She tried that look one more time, but her eyes failed when Maleficent kissed her on the lips so softly that it was hardly a touch at all, more like her lips were being caressed by Maleficent's hot breath.

She sighed. " You are impossible".

" Mh. I cannot help it, when you are slipping in your persona, I just have to get you out" she said.

" Persona?".

Maleficent pulled back a little bit, leaned on her elbows and stroked Regina's hair. Then she sharpened her voice and threw Regina a cold and bored look. " I could not care less about any of you, you are all pathetic".

She kissed Regina softly again, not long enough for Regina to even respond. " You don't have to be like that around me. Not when we are alone".

Regina bit her lip. " I should never have to be like that around you – it is not really what I think like, or what I feel but- " .

" I understand. I knew what I was getting myself into. I work for your mother, remember?".

" Well you don't seem to be doing a lot of _working_ .. ".

" Of course not, I have better, more beautiful things to do".

" Maleficent!" Regina gasped.

Maleficent tried her best innocent look, but the smirk kind of ruined it" I was not suggesting anything improper, merely that there are more important things than whatever slight terrors I am supposed to be doing".

" Your work ethic is horrid, truly" Regina said, but she sounded distracted. Her eyes were on Mal's eyes that were shining with happiness (oh how she loved those eyes and that she could make them shine like that) before sliding down to Mal's lips. This time it was Regina who kissed Mal.

They lay tangled amidst the straw for lazy, languid moments, the afternoon sun making Mal's hair shine like gold. They took very short breaks to breathe, then kissed again. Kiss. Breathing. Kiss. Breathing. Repeatrepeatrepeatrepeat.

Finally, Mal rolled off Regina and just lay next to her while holding her hand. Regina sighed. " I look positively horrendous, don't I?".

Mal laughed. " you look lovely, beautifully disheveled and flushed". She picked a piece of straw from Regina's hair. " you look a lot happier like this".

" Filthy and with straw in my hair?".

"No. Without a mother constant whispering in your ear what to do".

Maleficent stood up and offered Regina her hand, pulling her up. Regina let go of Maleficent's hand and started brushing Rocante again, after picking up the horse brush. Maleficent stood behind her and started removing the bits of straw from Regina's tangled hair.

" What time does your mother expect you back?".

" In an hour. There is a delegation coming". Regina sighed, and Maleficent felt slightly nauseous at how exhausted and hopeless Regina appeared to her. Sometimes she really wanted to hurt Cora (but then again, Regina's heart was too big to not love Cora and hurting Cora would mean hurting Regina) even if she couldn't.

She rubbed Regina's tense shoulders for a while, the knots slowly loosening as she worked on them while Regina finished brushing the horse. When Regina's shoulders no longer felt like marble, Maleficent sat back down on the layer of straw covering the ground.

She studied Regina's gently hands brushing the horse, listened to her voice as she complimented Rocante, watched her arms as she left to get a bucket of water ( Mal would offer to help, but she knew from past experience that Regina preferred doing those things herself). She just watched and watched while Regina made the mundane look interesting.

Regina had a way of doing that, of keeping Mal interested even when she was doing something tedious.

The hour quickly passed, too quickly. They kept giving each other a 'last, last kiss' and finally managed to part. They would meet again in a few days, on their spots.

 **A few days later, way too early, seriously wth everyone should still be sleeping**

Regina stormed into Maleficent dingy chamber like a tornado, slamming the door as though she was trying to break it. Mal woke with a start, shooting upright and confused at the loud sounds and the deep growling voice and- " Regina?"

Mal jumped out of her bed, stalking over to the pacing and (trembling? ) woman in the middle of her room. She gently touched her arm, halted her and opened her own slightly. Regina immediately sunk into the embrace and Mal felt her heart jump into her throat and choked a little as she felt that Regina was trembling like there was an earthquake happening inside her and breathing like there wasn't enough oxygen.

" Regina?" she repeated, a little louder, more urgent. Regina pulled back a little. Her eyes were frantic, her pupils swallowing most of the brown and making her look like a hunted animal. Maleficent felt like stabbing someone.

" The delegation.. the king was there and his daughter. She fell from her horse. Well, nearly. I – I saved her – ". Regina choked a little on her words as her eyes filled with tears. " the king proposed".

" What".

" My mother's work, of course. I don't know how exactly, but you know how manipulative is".

" What did you do?".

Regina started breathing even faster, making sounds that someone being choked might make. Maleficent quickly pulled her back into the embrace and soothingly stroked her back. " I am here. You are not alone. Whatever happens, I will help".

As soon as Regina calmed down a little, she pushed out " She will hurt you".

" I am not that easily hurt. I withstand your sarcasm after all". Maleficent attempted to joke.

" You don't know how bad it is, Mal". Regina struggled visibly. Mal had a sneaking suspicion it had something to do with how difficult Regina found it to acknowledge her mother was bad news ( as in the-plague-is-coming kind of bad news).

She waited patiently till Regina managed to say "I do not have the slightest inclination what she will do, but she won't shy away from using anything to keep us apart".

Maleficent used her thumbs to wipe away the few tears that were falling. " She won't succeed". Regina shuddered. " You don't – ".

" No, I don't. But I do know that I am not going to abandon you. " Mal- ". " No. There are no arguments that will sway me. I am not going to leave you ".

Regina dug her nails into Mal's shoulder blades and kissed her desperately. " I love you" she whispered when she pulled back.

" I love you too". Mal gave Regina one last kiss. " Can you saddle Rocante while I get some extra supplies?

Regina visibly tried to pull herself together. " What do you mean 'extra'".

Mal sauntered over to her bed and retrieved a satchel from beneath it. She showed it to Regina with a satisfied smirk. " I always come prepared".

Regina rolled her eyes, then smiled. " No, you don't. You are never prepared".

" While I would love to show you just how _prepared_ I can be, we don't really have the time for any of this. Shall we meet at the stable in an hour?".

Regina nodded. She hugged Mal one last time, inhaled deeply. Mal hugged her back really tightly, but careful that it was not tight enough to truly hurt. She kissed Regina's cheek one last time, then opened the door and slipped outside as soon as she was certain that no one saw. Regina left shortly after her.

Neither noticed the woman hidden in the shadows, her mouth a thin line as she muttered 'that ungrateful girl…'.

 **Probably one hour later. They are no watches. How tf do you tell time**

Maleficent picked up Regina and spun her, Regina laughing while at the same time protesting. "Set me down!".

Maleficent hugged her once, then put her down. " Did anyone see you?".

" You don't think I would be as 'calm' as I am right now if that was the case, do you?".

" I suppose not. Are you cold are just shaken up? Because I have a blanket- " Maleficent opened the satchel , but Regina halted her. " Just nerves and slight terror. But.. thank you".

The two were still smiling at each other, fingers entwined and leaning towards each other when the doors slammed open.

" Mother NO!" Regina yelled as Cora waved her hand and Maleficent flew through the air and hit her head against the opposite wall. She tried to move towards Maleficent but she couldn't move, like there was a wall as well as her feet being chained and- " Mother, no" Regina repeated, horror-struck as Cora stalked towards where Maleficent lay , blinking furiously to clear the spots in her vision.

" I have slaved all my life, given up love and dreams, all so you could have everything I never could and this is how you repay me". She grabbed a fistful of Maleficent's hair and yanked her head up. Maleficent glowered at her, though Regina also saw a hint of fear there. _My mother collects hearts. My mother makes people vanish. My mother has magic that hurts like the sun somehow being pushed into your veins._ Maleficent knew just how dangerous Cora was.

" You would give yourself to some worthless, filthy- ".

" Do not call her that!" Regina said, her voice shrill and angry.

Cora merely smiled. " I am just calling the beast by its name".

Maleficent tried to pull her hair free. Cora just hold on even tighter, smiling. " Don't even think about it. You will never get the chance to ruin my daughter's future again".

Regina paled. " No! Mother, please".

" Do not beg Regina, queens never beg. They demand ". And Cora made another hand motion , stepped back and watched as Maleficent let out a pained groan. Regina screamed when Maleficent's back bend and her eyes rolled until all Regina could see was their whites. She tried once again to step forward, but there was still that barrier.

" MALEFICENT" she screamed, pushing against the barrier she couldn't see but felt every time she came too close. Maleficent's body started to shake, her eyes were still rolled back, she paled and sweated and then-

Regina staggered back and covered her mouth when Maleficent started to scream. Then the sounds could be heard. Like trees snapping or- oh gods. Her bones were breaking.

Regina screamed and pleaded and cursed as Maleficent shook and shrieked and clawed at her own skin. " NO mother stop it I won't run ever again I PROMISE ".

Maleficent's skin seemed to fall off and then immediately be replaced by black- scales? She clutched her head, bit her tongue but still shrieked when two curling horns pushed out. Her body started to swell. Her back bend again and she panted and groaned and howled when her back was torn open so two wings could come out of it.

Regina raged and tried to keep the sobbing to a minimum- l _ove is weakness and do not ever cry dearest because it is inane and weak and makes you look uglier too_ \- but mostly felt so horrible that she felt like her emotions were shutting down just because she couldn't handle it.

Finally, it stopped. Maleficent lay on the ground, curled up on herself.

As Cora snapped her fingers, Regina stormed forward screaming Maleficent name. The barrier had disappeared, so Regina reached Maleficent and dropped down next to her. " Mal.." she whispered. She didn't hesitate to lay a hand on the scales , stroked them.

" Mal, wake up please" she implored. Slowly, Mal's eyes opened. They were blurry and confused but at least they opened. Regina kept stroking Mal, trying to make her stop shudder slightly.

" Oh darling, foolish girl. You would still choose her ? She is a beast, nothing more".

" Turn her back". " No".

" Turn. Her. BACK" Regina actually managed to scream at her mother, despite the terror and ever-present need for love.

Cora rolled her eyes. " Do not scream, it is very unbecoming. And I am doing this for your own good Regina. You will be a queen".

Regina sunk into the straw " I don't _want_ to be a queen".

" Don't be stupid, girl. You will be grateful one day. You wouldn't have had a future with her. She would have held you back. You would have resented her".

Regina shook her head. Glowered at her mother. "No. We would have been _happy_ ".

" Nonsense. Now stand up and get back to your chambers". " No!".

Cora narrowed her eyes, raised her hand. Regina felt terrified but raised her head with defiance. That all vanished when Cora pointed at Maleficent. " No! Haven't you hurt her enough? ".

" That all depends on you. If you go with me, she will be free to go. But if you are foolish enough to stay..". Cora left the threat hanging in the air, forcing Regina to think about what she would do.

Regina only need five seconds to decide.

" I will come with you. After you have changed her back".

" I never said anything about turning her back . No, I don't want you to be tempted again. Maybe I will keep her as a pe-".

" At least set her free" Regina pleaded, voice broken.

And thus on an afternoon when the moon was full and the sky clear, a dark and enormous silhouette flew through the sky. At the ground, a girl and a woman watched it. The girl looked defeated and heartbroken but somewhere in the background of those eyes, there was also hatred and anger whenever she snuck glances at the woman holding on to her arm . When they couldn't see the creature anymore, the girl was pulled inside roughly.

The girl never saw the return of the dragon, how it flew around the house a few times and then disappeared into the nearby forest.


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own OUAT.**

It was probably a horrible thing to think, likely even treason, but Regina didn't think the king was all that kind. She had heard stories – from servants, when they didn't notice she was listening to them but also from visiting nobility- of the goodness and kindness of king Leopold. She had heard stories of him helping strangers, of treating his household almost like family, of him being such a wonderful husband to queen Eva…

She did not feel like the man from those stories was sitting next to her.

This man looked at her in a way that made her want to shower for three hours, kept touching her in little ways until she had to grit her teeth not to move her chair or anything and the constant smiling was honestly … just suspicious ( and a part of Regina kept pointing out that his eyes didn't match that friendly smile)

The only thing she could effortlessly believe, was that he loved his daughter. He constantly complimented Snow – the flowers in your hair make you even prettier- , listened intensely to whatever she was babbling about and was so focused on her that Regina felt quite uncomfortable (She was used to Cora's love that felt navigating a forest with traps and her father's love that always felt like he was holding back).

Her mother, seated next to her, prodded her whenever the king said something (she could hear her hiss instructions sometimes , like 'smile more dear, men like that') . She attempted to smile whenever the king looked her way, to listen carefully to Snow's constant talking, to pretend like she was enjoying her food… but her thoughts kept returning to Mal and eating had never been more difficult, her stomach resisting every bite.

She looked at Snow, trying to force her attention back to this dinner, but all she could see was Mal's pained and disbelieving eyes. It didn't matter how many times she reminded herself that the man next to her was the _King,_ that she had been prepared her entire life for a moment like this, that her mother would be furiously disappointed if she did not manage to present herself well to the monarch and his daughter.

She just couldn't keep wondering about Mal, i _s she hurt is she safe is the enchantment temporary is she able to hunt so she can eat-_ and wanted nothing more than to run outside and search for her. Her eyes kept glancing outside, both fearing (oh no Mal, it is not safe) and hoping desperately to see a large, flying form.

The sudden pain finally managed to transport her mind back to this moment: her mother hissed " focus" now that she had gotten Regina's attention, flitted her eyes towards the king pointedly before the pain slowly lifted. " You know I don't like you usin- " Regina started to softly say, but the pain just got worse again so that she almost flinched in a way that would annoy and anger mother, surely.

The king glanced her way, which made her automatically force a smile. The pain vanished slowly at the moment that the king's eyes glided over her body for a moment before meeting her eyes again. _Why is he looking at me like that?_

She felt unpleasant shivers at the gleam in his eyes, but hid her real emotions under a small smile. He didn't seem to notice, or perhaps he didn't care: he gave her a smile back and even leaned forward as he asked "Is the food to your liking? ".

 _The food is- or would be- but I am not sure the company is._ She scolded herself for the mean thought, but she couldn't help it. It was the truth after all ( a truth that might cost her her head) " It is wonderful, your majesty". She didn't even know how she managed to keep the emotional turmoil out of her voice. Shouldn't it be breaking or sounding like she choking?

The king briefly lay his hand on hers, d _on't pull away, mother will be so disappointed_ , then fortunately turned his attention back to Snow. "And are you enjoying yourself, my dearest?".

The girl practically vibrated with happiness. " Oh yes! I am ever so glad to have met Regina".

The king glanced at Regina. " So am I ".

"I am almost glad that my horse was so spooked".

"I wouldn't go that far, my dear Snow, what if you had gotten hurt?".

" I didn't! Because _Regina_ was there" Snow gave Regina the most adoring, awed look. She shifted in her chair, not used to such emotions leveled at her and not sure she wanted it from this girl. It wasn't that she disliked the princess or even found her annoying, it might have had more to do with the princess' father (and the far too eager, hungry look in her mother's eyes)

Which she felt horrible about- he was the king and supposedly a wonderful man- but she couldn't help herself whenever he glanced at her or made comments that made part her want to run away.

He glanced at her like that again and she quickly looked away at him to smile at Snow. " I am very glad I was there, your highness".

Snow almost flushed with pleasure. " It is lovely to hear that".

For what must have been the fifth time – though Regina couldn't be sure, because her mind had been so preoccupied with Mal that she had only really listen to approximately one fifth of the conversation- Snow described how she had been 'so very afraid, I thought I would faint father!' when her own 'hero' suddenly was there.

" Regina is a talented rider, father, you should've seen her on – ".

She turned to Regina. " What is your horse's name?".

" Oh. His name is Rocante, your highness".

" .. Rocante. I wished I could ride like that!".

The king smiled. " Regina is a little older than you, I believe. I have all the faith in the world that you will be a very talented rider at that age".

"Oh I dearly hope so" Snow gasped. Then she turned that bright smile on Regina. " How long have you been able to ride like that? Was it difficult? Did it take many years?".

Regina blinked. She had been staring at her plate, trying to figure out whether there was a way to help Mal. There was that pain again and she glanced at her mother, trying to communicate ' Don't, for once '. The pain only got sharper. She realized quickly it is because she hadn't answered yet ( and gods is it tempting to keep silent, to rebel in one of the only ways she might have the courage for) " I have enjoyed riding from the moment I first was on top of a horse. I am not certain when I got good, however".

She smiled at an enraptured Snow. " But riding is not about being good. It is about – " she hesitated, thinking about the first time she got on a horse, the feeling of freedom and control, the thought of _I could go anywhere. I could make my choices_ , the laugh she couldn't keep inside as the horse started moving. " it is about happiness. It is about the bond you build, the one that grows whenever you brush your horse or feed him or – " _have another reason to hide away from your mother and the horse is the only one you can talk to_ " just talk" .

Next to her, she could practically feel her mother stiffen and starting to laugh derisively. "Regina, it is just an animal. And just a sport. Honestly, dear I don't know where you get these … ideas".

" Oh I think she is right" Snow nodded and it is the first time since she was forced to sit down in clothing hand-picked by her mother that Regina could smile genuinely. " I mean- I still would like very much to be good at riding, but I am not sure riding is even my favourite part".

Regina felt a small spark of interest. " What is your favourite part, Sn- your highness? ".

Snow chewed her lip. " I do not know". There was a brief silence as she seemed to think, then her eyes sparkled. " I think I liked it best when I was allowed to brush my horse and it kept blowing air at my hair playfully, that made me laugh"

She blushed. " Is that awfully silly of me?".

Regina smiled genuinely like it isn't an impossible ordeal. "Not at all. I think that is an excellent choice, your highness".

Snow grinned proudly. Before Regina could go back to her scattered thoughts, Snow demanded her attention again. " Oh! Please tell me what your favourite part is? ".

Regina suddenly had a vivid flashback to her first meeting with Mal. Not really her first meeting- Mal had always been in the background, doing chores and so far removed from her because of the emphasis her mother put on social standing- but the first time she had really noticed Mal. She had been upset, perhaps even frightened and had run to the stables without even thinking. Her arms had been around Rocante's neck, his fur catching the tears as she sought comfort. She could almost smell the straw again now, or feel Rocante's fur against her cheek. And then Mal had suddenly been there, one of Rocante's blankets in her hands, pushing it into Regina's hands. Mal had always been.. well, most would call it difficult. She had been then, but she had also been what Regina had _needed._ She had been drawn to the slightly prickly girl that always seemed to be vaguely amused or just plain indifferent ( she had only later noted that was all an act) since that first meeting.

It is all the moments in the stables, the moments where she had been riding Rocante with Mal pressed against her back, Mal's hand on top of her to 'help her brush Rocante', riding towards their special spot with the stars above their heads.. that she thought off at Snow's innocent question.

 _But I can never speak off that.. Mal would really have earned mother's loathing if she knew just how much has been shared between us._

She tried to laugh. It came out stilted, the pain immediately returning as a warning , she could practically hear mother's voice _smile, dear, or they will think something is wrong. You cannot be anything but happy around royalty._ She forced a smile, genuine enough that the pain vanished again. "" My favourite part.. I am not sure I have any, your highness".

"What were you thinking about just then?" Snow inquired, probably not with the intention to make every part of Regina be seized by panic but that is nonetheless what happened.

She didn't know what to say in reply to Snow's 'Regina? ' . She felt like her mind wasn't working properly, because she honestly could not remember anything that didn't have Mal in it too. All the moments were horses and riding had been her escape, Mal had been her happiness.

Snow's voice was suddenly concerned. "Regina? You look dreadfully pale, are you all right?".

The pain like needles presses into her neck and a fireball being thrown at her stomach finally made her find an answer. "The first time I rode. I was thinking off the first time I rode, your highness ".

The worried expressed was already fading. " Oh , tell me about it, tell me about it, _please_ ".

" Oh eh-" she glanced at mother. " Well, I must have been six years old or so and my papa had prepared a ride as a surprise" she smiled. " I was a little frightened at first – the horse seemed so large- but as soon as I was actually on top of it, I just loved it. Daddy always jokes that he would never have put me on a horse if he had known it was so difficult to get me off it".

" I started riding when daddy gave me a horse for my birthday " Snow sighed dreamily. "It was such a beautiful, happy day".

Regina quickly took a bite from her plate, certain that she couldn't fake another smile. The princess did not seem to notice anything odd, just babbling on and on, content whenever Regina said things like " How did that happen , your highness" or " How fascinating, your highness". She was only offered spare moments of respite, whenever the king engaged his daughter in conversation.

After hours of dining and more hours of sitting in one of the castle's chambers – on Snow's insistence- the king finally decided it was getting too late for Snow. Cora almost grinned as Leopold declared that 'you must visit again, it would make my dear Snow so very happy" but Regina was too exhausted( as well as a million other things) to care. She just wanted to be somewhere else.

No-

She just wanted a life that was her own, not one that was shaped by people who thought they owned her, not one where people like kings could decide for her, just one where she could be her own person that choose what they did with their life.

It was the most impossible desire.

* * *

The king wants her. It is all Cora talks about in the chariot. When Regina hesitantly says "is he not supposed to be a honourable man? He would not look at me that way, especially not after losing his true love" Cora just laughs. She tuts " You truly are naïve. Just as well, men like Leopold like that in their women". The expression in her eyes make Regina press back, which she only notes she is doing when the handle of the chariot digs into her back. " As for queen _Eva_ ". _why do you speak her name like that?_ If she didn't know better, she might be tempted to ask Cora why she is smiling, especially smiling like that. " she was nothing more than a harlot. A harlot with brains- that I have to admit- but definitely not his 'true love'. Leopold is no fool girl, he would not pick _love_ , he would pick a wife that will obey him and someone who is attractive and willing to bear his children".

Regina suddenly feels what little she has eaten coming up her throat. " He already has a child".

" Yes, that is why he speaks highly of queen Eva now. Just imagine what he might have said had she not given him a child". That smile widens, the look in Cora's eyes making Regina glance nervously outside the window- are they home yet?- before the smile fades as Cora looks at her. " Your age speaks in your favour Regina".

"Speaks in my- mother, " Regina doesn't even know what she was going to say, whether she would've spoken any of the thoughts in her mind at the nightmare of having to say 'yes I do' to Leopold

" A man like Leopold wants heirs. _Needs_ them. Not only is it a matter of pride, but what if princess Snow were to die? Or any of the other million things that could go wrong in this world".

" Mother you cannot possibly mean that the king – " Regina half-stutters, earning her a pointed glare from Cora. She cannot even bring herself to apologize, pressing her cold hands to heated cheeks as just sits there, frozen with- so many things- at what Cora is suggesting.

" If we play this right, if I convince him that you will be a wonderful mother to that brat as well as the other children that will surely follow" mother seems to have forgotten Regina is still there and Regina doesn't make the mistake of alerting Cora to her presence. Not after the last time

Regina presses her hand to her chest, where there is an indescribable feeling of pain – she glances at Cora, but her hand isn't gripping her daughter's heart – and her lungs, which feel like the oxygen has been sucked out of them- she glances at her mother, but she is still lost in thought- or her

" Regina? " mother finally has noticed something is wrong.

She sighs, awkwardly pats Regina's hand. "What is it this time? Is the excitement of finally getting what you've always wanted getting to you, dear?"

Somehow that makes Regina able to speak. " It is not what I've always wanted, it is what _you_ always wanted"

"Regina, don't be fool-".

" _I_ wanted Mal. I wanted often crude jokes and soothing hurt that she doesn't want to show and being distracted because she seems incapable of not touching me and – "

" _Regina"_ she knows she should stop, that she is endangering herself- worse, far worse, is endangering _Maleficent_ \- but she can't stop herself.

" I wanted to get completely furious because she – she can really make me crazy sometimes, I wanted a life that might have had less luxury and titles, but that would have meant seeing my true love each day- "

She grabs her mother's hand, squeezes it. " Please m-mother, _please_ I do not want to marry the king" she smiles, feels the tears on her cheeks. " I just want Maleficent. She w-would make me so happy".

" I had no idea you felt _this_ strongly about the girl , Regina" her mother's voice is gentler than she can remember being, her eyes -are those tears?- and there is this smile that just makes Regina feel such _hope._ Her mother shifts closer, wiping away Regina's tears, then slowly embraces her.

Regina sags, thinking _thank you thank you thank you_ , already thinking of how Mal and her will celebrate. Perhaps they can meet in the stables, take Rocante for a ride, share-

She gasps, makes a choking noise. Cold, it is so very cold. " M-mommy?".

Cora pulls back, all that fake gentleness and acceptance gone. Her smile is as cold as ever as she looks at Regina and sighs. "If you really are as weak and foolish as to choose _true love,_ then I will just have to be strong for you".

She raises the heart to her lips. Regina stares numbly as her mother says " As soon as this chariot stop, you will go to your chamber, you will not leave ".

It is like blacking out. Regina tries to fight it, but when she tells her hand to just do _something_ , her muscles don't obey. She feels oddly detached from this moment, almost like it something that isn't actually happening to her, like it is just gossip she is hearing from someone.

As the doors of the chariot open, Regina is just conscious enough to register that it is empathy mixed with horror that flashes through the horseman's eyes (she is always kind to him, talks enough to him that she was able to give him something small on his birthday). He helps her out of the carriage and is even brave enough to ask whether she is okay.

She cannot answer. She is- she is supposed to do something else. "I am going to my chamber" she says, allowing her mother to pull away from the horseman's gentle grip on her arm.

She still feels that odd detachment, the only thing that matters is going to her chamber. There are voices she cannot focus on, things moving that she cannot recognize, something warm she can barely feel falling on her face..

Only when she has reached her chamber does the world come back to her a bit. She goes to her mirror first, when she finally feels the warmth that was actually more like burning. In the mirror, she sees it is - "Ash?" her voice sounds rough. At seeing that, knowing what it likely _means,_ she feels more like herself.

For a moment, everything is normal. The sounds unmute, she can clearly make out everything in her room and she can imagine running towards Mal, running with her-

Then she turns around and doesn't see the door. She knows it is there, is absolutely certain it hasn't been removed. But she can't see it. And whenever she thinks of leaving- her mind just shuts off or replaces the thoughts with other things.

 _Mother. How much control does she have over me?_

She tests that control. She discovers the following things: everything remains slightly muted, she can feel it when Cora does something with/to her heart and whatever she tries, leaving is impossible.

She sinks on her bed, not wanting nor caring about changing clothes, her eyes burning , her entire body just sort of crumbling. She clutches the covers, wishing Mal had ever been her so that she could at least have her scent to soothe her. The ash -she is so sure it is Maleficent' s doing, somehow- is a pale substitute. Still, at least she does not feel completely abandoned and alone thanks to it

As she falls into a restless sleep, the window shows a growing shape, getting more gargantuan as it gets closer. Clouds before the moon offer it protection, hiding everything apart the general shape and size of the beast. Someone could only barely make out wings that are folded around the creature's body as it presses against the stone of the estate, claws holding on to bricks.

The clouds move for a moment , showing the grey eyes watching the slumbering girl with what only can be love.

The mirror next to the window shows a woman with her hand wrapped around a heart.

 **Uh I am really bad with colours, I looked at pictures of Mal and decided they are grey. Do you guys agree?  
**


End file.
